what i did, #2

the color of the end: mission in the apocalypse

last year in september, i went on a short trip to hamburg with my partner and we found the queer bookstore strips & stories that specializes in graphic novels. we browsed a little and i found a manga with an intriguing cover. lucie bought it for me and i was super excited to read it. but i had some health issues at the time which only subsided at the beginning of march, so i wasn't really in the mood for a dystopian setting that thematizes a virus. i only began reading the color of the end: mission in the apocalypse (haruo iwamune, 2022-) four weeks ago, coinciding (or not?) with my first session of abriss. i was immediately sucked in by the drawings that made me think of tsutomu nihei, the mangaka of blame!: huge industrial structures, lots of cross-hatching, geometric shapes and perspectives, formidable monster robots,... That being said, color of the end isn't by far as bleak as blame! and not as rough and experimental. the protagonist, an android called saya, and her cute companion ku are looking for survivors of the disease cristallosis in a destroyed city in japan.

despite the setting being quite depressing, it's a wholesome read, so i bought the other two volumes which i already finished. now waiting for the release of the fourth volume, coming in may 2026. i hope that this one will have fewer errors (semantic/grammatical/orthographic) than vol. 3. the first two volumes i own were fine (unsurprisingly translated by a different person), but it seems like vol. 4 has also been translated by that same person, so maybe i'll buy the english translation from now on. it's way more expensive, but these errors (there were multiple) made me quite mad (i suspect that an llm was used with half-assed editing/proof-reading, but that's just a theory). anyways, great manga, looking forward to the next volume!

scarlet hollow

i liked slay the princess (2023, black tabby games) and i love scarlet hollow (2021-, black tabby games). i finished the latest episode recently and i can't wait for the next (final) one! the writing is amazing (as always) and i got quite scared (good (psychological and supernatural) horror), the hand-drawn art is on point and creates an unsettling feeling on its own.

i like the tiny rpg elements in the game (i picked "keen eye" and "mystical" as my character traits) and the impact the choices have. one of the best visual novels i have played so far.

arctic eggs

i played a hilarious (and a little disgusting) game called arctic eggs (2024, the water museum, critical reflex) where you are "the next Poultry Prepper," meaning: you have a pan, you have to fry whatever the residents of the dystopian arctic town want. you start with eggs (which i still found ok, even though i'm vegan), but it quickly turns ugly when the living cockroaches arrive and orders of fried cigarettes, sardine cans (yes, cans), and various other stuff that doesn't belong into pans drop in. so i felt a bit nauseous after these sessions, but the game aesthetics and the world-building are quite unique (and very quirky), which made up for my twirling stomach.

sub-verge

i played another short indie game called sub-verge (2025, interactive tragedy, pantaloon). i like underwater settings and combined with a futuristic theme, this looked like something i'd enjoy. it's basically a dialogue puzzle game where you have to find the right sequence of characters convincing each other to pull the cubicle to a certain direction.

it was a nice game and worked well with the steam deck. i also downloaded the illustrated novella subtle mind (2025, zach dodson, tiia reijonen) that was published alongside the game and serves as a prequel, but i haven't read it yet. beautiful art in any case and i'd like to know more about the world.

sunset solitaire

it's no secret i was a solitaire addict in my teens (not even joking), so it was only natural that i picked up another solitaire game and installed it after browsing my library for a casual game. i have a huge backlog and i was thinking of reducing it by looking into smaller games that i can finish quickly. great idea, i know! so i installed sunset solitaire (2024, johan peitz, vav, apskeppet), a pixelated variant of the classic that plays a little bit with the mechanics.

i started the game and... ended up playing it for eight hours until 4 o'clock in the morning. it is very addictive with its cute pixel graphics and the chiptune soundtrack. however, and this is why i was playing for so long, i suspect that the "pyramid (hard)" mode cannot be won. i've tried for several hours and had it down to one card and it still wasn't showing me the matching card. (you can't really play strategically due to the absolute randomness) this had me very frustrated. but it's a sweet game and winning the other levels was quite rewarding.

milky way prince - the vampire star

talking of short games, i went through my list and was in the mood for a visual novel (because i finished scarlet hollow, and what now). i thought milky way prince - the vampire star (2020, eyeguys, lorenzo redaelli, santa ragione) was bleak, but not that bleak. it was a bit hard to play, tbh. it's about a toxic (gay) relationship with a person who has bpd. the creator of the game said it's a semi-autobiographical story and there's a warning before you start the game. that warning is absolutely justified as the content might be triggering. that being said, one has to be careful of stereotyping, so i see the game as the semi-autobiographical game it is and not a depiction of all people with this condition.
the graphics are a mix of 3d renderings and 2d illustrations which works quite well, and the limited color palette make for an atmospheric aesthetic.

i also have another game from the dev in my library (mediterranea inferno), which is advertised as a "mature and treacherous visual novel." i'll probably wait a bit more until i play it, but i will check it out.

milk outside a bag of milk outside a bag of milk

probably no coincidence that i played milk outside a bag of milk outside a bag of milk (2021, nikita kryukov, nikita igorevich studio) directly after milky way prince: they have the same first word in their title (milk), they are both visual novels, they have a similar color palette, they are both short... but this one called me especially because i had already played the predecessor, milk inside a bag of milk inside a bag of milk (2020, nikita kryukov), a very experimental game with rough pixel graphics. the successor is equally experimental but has more refined graphics and a more coherent story.

it's still psychological horror, but more bearable for me than milky way prince, so i checked out all of the endings with the help of a guide. i really enjoyed that game and have the next one (1000: the all-mother's embrace) on my wishlist.

warhammer 40,000: rogue trader

yes, i finally gave in and started playing a wh40k game (because the queers in my tl keep posting about how great it is): warhammer 40,000: rogue trader (2023, owlcat games). it took me ages, but i managed to create a non-verbal crime lord with a cute bowl cut.

i've played about five hours so far and it's been great, but i think i'm still not 100% "into it." the game is kind of slow-burn and the ui/mechanics are slow as well, so i feel understimulated quickly. and the world isn't familiar yet, the language is odd, so i feel overwhelmed too at times. but i think it's just a matter of time until i get used to all this and when i do i won't stop playing. i'm just not there yet. but i can already tell it's a great game.

rosewater

i also started playing the wild west point and click adventure rosewater (2025, grundislav games, application systems heidelberg) which i've been waiting to play for months.

i've been following the developer's games since i discovered the point and click adventures published by wadjet eye games: francisco gonzalez made shardlight (2016) together with ben chandler), which i really liked. then he went solo with grundislav games and developed lamplight city (2018), a gorgeous steampunk detective game. i didn't know rosewater and lamplight city shared the same universe, but i've been delighted by the many references. the story, the characters, and the art have gonzalez's recognizable style and playing this game has been quite pleasant.

PizzaPastaMaro: a maskros nebula game

yes, in between all the reading and gaming, i also made some progress developing the structure and writing the dialogues of the first episode. this is both exciting and difficult to pull off, because i'm not knowledgeable with every topic i encounter, so i had to go down a planetary science/geochemistry/petrology rabbit hole to make one of the characters (sheila rivers) a believable character. this is a WIP avatar of sheila that i created for the chat (which is one of the gameplay elements):

sheila works for an NGO called the maskros nebula planetary science association where she is a researcher specializing in planetary geochemistry and petrology. a fascinating profession which i needed (and still need) to know more about. sadly, my brain is not made for this kind of information (in regards to me becoming an expert or work in this type of field), but i still love absorbing the material i kind find on such topics (no pun intended). while researching, i found a diamond open access journal called "Advances in Geochemistry and Cosmochemistry" that publishes nerdy articles such as "A petrological, geochemical, and geochronological study of Ramlat Fasad 532: An Omani addition to the Antarctic 'YAMM' lunar meteorite group."
i don't want to pretend i understood the article, but there are a lot of terms in there that i want to look up further. and honestly, the figures are super pretty.

i don't have much of the main writing left for episode 1: another guest at the pizzeria, another chat conversations, and a monologue with... a cliffhanger perhaps? would be nice if i can pull that off. after that, i'll have to make sure that the player has enough opportunities to decide which answer to pick, so i have to add alternative answers. when that's done, i can finally do some story-boarding (something i've been looking forward to) and we can create another prototype. hopefully, the game's core features are fun, but we'll see. first, i have to finish the narrative elements.

a knight of the seven kingdoms

i've been watching some shows as usual, for example, season 1 of a knight of the seven kingdoms (2026, apple tv). i watched all of the episodes with lucie and we had great fun mimicking the audhd-coded character (egg) and the equally relatable grump (ser duncan the tall).

slow burn at first and a few yucky elements for shock value, but excellent writing that had us at the edge of our seat. looking forward to the next season!

dark matter (2015)

this one i've also been watching with lucie and it's been a fun ride so far. naturally, there's an autistic-coded character with blue hair, power-clashing clothes, an interest in technology, and some coping mechanisms that can only be described as utterly familiar (hiding in a dark narrow vent when you're overstimulated? hell yeah).

the props and locations are also something... for example, they used a real (earthly) ship (for traversing waters) which was also referred to as a ship, but we are in space, so...

but this is what makes the show so great. they clearly had a tight budget, but they made the most of it. and even though we can predict certain plot points and dialogue lines, they manage to surprise us with a twisty cliffhanger every time. we've watched 8 episodes so far and i'm glad there are 31 left!

surface

this thriller show is very tropey and has some queer-baiting to it (the main character is implied to be bisexual/lesbian, but she's not (spoiler, sorry!)), but i guess surface (2022-, apple tv) has a hooky story line, so i couldn't let go and watched both seasons.

i would also watch a third, haha! but the future of the show remains unclear: season 2 was published in 2025 and apple hasn't renewed nor cancelled it.

dtf st. louis

yes, i watched dtf st. louis (2026, apple tv). i don't know why but it was hard to put down, i had to watch all the available episodes in one go (which means 1x3 and 1x4). it's just a very good mystery with an excellent cast. (joy sunday, richard jenkins, jason bateman, david harbour) minor spoilers ahead!

now, i have some problems with that show: floyd (played by david harbour wearing a fat-suit (on his own request)) is constantly self-fat-shaming while also being fat-shamed by his wife. frankly, why do this in 2026? it doesn't add to the story at all and it's cringey and no one needs to hear it. it made me very uncomfortable and i don't think there was any criticism to fat-shaming as a practice in that show (at least i couldn't detect any). so it's a big fail in that regard.
there's also that boy, floyd's stepson, who is clearly autistic-coded (at least during the first episodes), but is then revealed to have bpd and be an evil kid. meh! (also, he didn't really display bpd symptoms (more like anti-social/sociophobic behavior) but that's to be expected). so that was a bit of a disappointment as well. could have just consulted a person with bpd and psychologists who are knowledgeable about it...?
these problems aside, i really liked that floyd aspires to be an ASL interpreter and that they (him and clark) speak ASL in every (?) episode. it's rarely portrayed in other shows, so i found it quite awesome. and it's a beautiful language.
another thing the show does: it deconstructs toxic masculinity, depicting bi-curious/fluid characters, a sex-positive (or as she calls it, "porn-positive") detective, (male sexual) performance issues, and a loving male friendship. i think that's also why i stayed. i just liked the multi-faceted characters and how they interacted with each other. (except for carol, floyd's wife, but i can't like everyone) it's a limited show, so that's it, but i hope to see joy sunday in more shows. (apparently, she's also part of the wednesday cast, but i haven't watched that show yet)